[This was written during the pandemic, hence the context for my experience, but is still 100% applicable. I’ll update it at some point.]
I admit, I am not a park parent. After 5 kids, I probably should be, but I’ve never been good with the lack of structure. With my kids in daycare while I was working and then later in school, I never really had to be a park mom.
Even now, I’m sitting at the park on my laptop in my folding chair, while a group of moms sit across from me chatting on their blankets. Those moms are good at park play, they know what to do, their kids do too. I’m sticking out like a sore thumb.
Here’s why:
It’s summer, and we are still in shutdown (mostly) here in California. I have 5 kids at home and for the first time in forever, they have no camps, no summer school, no swimming at the club, and few family trips.
Our local park put in new equipment recently. The saying “If you build it, they will come” floats to mind. Amidst Covid, it may have been exactly what the doctor ordered for my little community.
The park is packed. Parents and kids seem to run free out here. It’s a freedom I never would have dreamed would be so valuable. It’s as if Covid never happened.
For me and my youngest 2 children, this is our new happy place.
They get to run, climb and socialize and I get to sit in the shade and feel good that I got them off the screens and out of the house. Through this experiment, I get to observe how incredibly rich the parks are for our kids. It makes we wonder how much park time was missed pre-Covid because we were all so busy and so tightly scheduled.
The running and climbing, the making of new friends, the sharing of equipment and toys and treasures other children bring. The fresh air. As we learned on our last trip to the park, even some conflict resolution can be had at the park. Darn those humiliating parent moments.
But, we’re back, and my 7 year old is hopefully better equipped this time than she was last. We shall see.
The park is not the same for all kids. At the park are kids of all ages and abilities.. Some are navigating the equipment by themselves, some are grouping up together setting up their games. Some are walking the perimeter of the playground doing their thing.
Every child is getting something, on their own trajectory, learning and growing in some small way. Some kids barely give their parents the time of day, some don’t leave their sides.
To me, a Parent-Led approach to Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA) is like the park. There are a multitude of opportunities at your fingertips. You may not know which ones you’ll find today, but they are all good and all worthwhile.
How do we make park-play a valuable experience for our kids? Is it possible to acquire play skills, learn to generalize and practice socialization all while finding joy in the experience? You bet.
Make small goals for your child to navigate new equipment, play chase with a peer, smile or even acknowledge another child, or just let them observe. Children learn most through imitation, afterall. I promise, it is not wasted time.
If going to the park for more than 15-20 minutes is too much, start there. As your child learns to do more, stay longer. Make it a routine to stop by after going to the grocery store, or my personal favorite, hit the park after a jog with your child in the jogging stroller or trailing behind on their bike.
If you need, just take one child, don’t feel guilty, justify the time as his/her learning time and it may only be possible if Grandma watches the other two kids.
If you’ve got a runner, seek out the fenced parks so you can rest a bit easier. If your child is easily overwhelmed, consider going in the early morning or later in the evening when the park isn’t so busy.
Take some snacks, work on a few language goals while snacking in the shade. Maybe take a nature walk if your park allows and work on having your child hold hands.
Having 5 kids has allowed me to parent a bit differently than I did in my early years. From a mom who often didn’t make time or effort for the park, I now see how many opportunities it provides in a natural and fun way.
Have you been to your local park today?
