Human development requires the same grace. We can’t always go uphill, sometimes we just want to coast for a bit. If we continue uphill for too long, we eventually stop moving.
Same with kids and learning. If you’re finding that a particular skill or activity is challenging your child and they are growing weary, frustrated or disinterested, take a step back to an easier level and reinforce that. Get some momentum and then gradually increase the level of difficulty.
When taking a step back, you may need to go back further than you originally thought, but that’s okay. Previously mastered ground can be regained quickly and ultimately the desire and interest a child has to learn a skill is more important than the skill itself. My husband (a coach of many seasons and multiple kids sports) is fond of saying, "You can't coach desire." It’s true. If you have desire, you have the foundation you need to create momentum.
“Previously mastered ground can be regained quickly and ultimately the desire and interest a child has to learn a skill is more important than the skill itself.”
Once you’ve reached a level your child can do easily, start to take forward steps and reinforce their success. Give a little, then Go. Coast for a bit, then kick it back into gear slowly.
Struggling with multiplying 6’s? Go back to 2’s for momentum and success. Struggling with spelling words? Go back to tracing for a bit.
Give a little, let off the pressure, then Go.
You can also switch to a different skill or activity altogether to gain some momentum and success. If your child is having a tough time with single word requests one day, switch to a physical game, maybe incorporate some imitation games. Give it maybe 10-15 minutes and keep the imitation activity fairly easy, don’t try anything difficult. Get your kid back in the flow. Then, switch back to single word requests but start with a mastered request, then move forward from there.
I enjoy running uphill, which is good because I live amongst many hills. I think it gives me a challenge, which takes my mind off the fact that I really don’t like to run and I’m not very good at it (I’m slow). Running up hills gives me a momentary challenge, but if the hill is too steep or long, I poop out. My ideal hill would plateau every hundred feet or so, or better yet, maybe even have a slight decline. I need those periods of rest to take on the next hill and those periods of rest increase my chances of success and getting up the hills without stopping.
This is also important when we are setting expectations for ourselves as parents. Parenting is so dang difficult, parenting a child with special needs is ten-fold. Be considerate with your expectations for yourself. Give grace, move forward, take a step back when needed and then keep going.
Give — and Go.
