The world is a mixed bag right now and so I appreciate how Chip and Joanna Gaines keep life so light, how they See the Good, but they also don’t pretend that it doesn’t take work.
I slowly sipped my morning coffee from my See the Good mug and eventually got my lazy butt out the door to run.
I eventually got lost in my thoughts, much about the news, my kids and my work that day. My lens started to change, my endorphins were pumping, I was feeling much more positive and I started to look forward to my second cup of coffee, specifically in my See the God mug. This time not begrudging it’s message, but looking forward to how that might help lead the rest of my day. Whoa, what a 180 from that grumpy first cup of coffee!
Some endorhpins and accomplishment to start my day and I was once again wearing my rose colored glasses. Okay, what in the world does this have to do with ABA and Parent-Led? Well, a lot actually. ABA is built on the Principles of Reinforcement, how we respond to a behavior to increase or decrease the likelihood of it happening again.
The most important type of reinforcement, in my opinion, is Positive Reinforcement. Especially since we are talking about our most precious gift here, our children. We want the world to be a positive and happy place for them, how better to do it than reinforce all the good we see in them.
BUT, here’s the downside, it’s HARD to always See the Good.
It is hard to see the good when we are consumed with the bad, or the indifferent, the stress and the worry. Right? How do we channel our inner Joanna Gaines and see that good when we are so bogged down with the not so good?
It’s hard, it’s a choice and it’s a way of life, but it is worth living and definitely worth doing for our children. It’s a practice, but in the process, if we focus and reinforce the good, guess what happens? Yes, it will happen more often!
If we reinforce those little babbles our babies make, they will make them more. If we celebrate when our children turn to look at us when we call their names, we increase the likelihood of them doing it again. When we swing them around the room for bringing an item to us when they need help, you got it, they will likely do it again! In order to reinforce the good though, we have to first SEE it and it is often too easy to focus on the things we aren’t seeing, the language, the age appropriate play, the full sentence he should be using to ask for help when he’s frustrated.
For years in my work I have taught parents to “Catch them being good.”
Catch them and reinforce them when they least expect, when they are playing quietly or interacting nicely with their siblings.
Catch them putting away their toys without being asked. Reinforce them with praise, hugs, smiles, whatever seems to reinforce them best.
Indeed, catch them being good.
But I’m going to take that a step further, to catch the good we need to first SEE the good and seeing the good is harder than it seems. Celebrate the little things, accept that you are on a long road of baby steps, but baby steps add up to big steps and soon you will turn to see how far you and your child have come, all by seeing the good along the way.
See the Good.
Thank you Joanna Gaines, Target, and Hearth and Hand for this much needed reminder this morning.
