Parent-Led Revolution

Finding the Fun!

Creating Joyful Skill Development Experiences

In a world where education and personal growth are highly valued, empowering your child with knowledge and skills from an early age has become increasingly crucial. As a caring parent or caregiver, you understand that the foundation for lifelong learning is often laid within the nurturing environment of the home, and Parent-Led Therapy is just the ticket.

But…where to start?

The first and most important priority is identifying how to make this experience enjoyable for YOU and your child!  

Why is it important to figure out what you and your child enjoy?

One of the basic principles of behavior analysis is that you will do more activities where you receive reinforcement and fewer activities that are either not reinforcing or aversive.  

Therefore, as the parent or caregiver, you must find interacting with your child reinforcing!

By reinforcing, I do not mean that you should feel you are “doing the right thing” or “helping your child” but instead that you are having fun and enjoying your interactions with your child.  When you and your child enjoy interactions, the learning will come naturally.  

To start, think about the people, places, things, and activities you LOVE.

While some of these activities might be reserved for you, others may become something you can share with your child to build joyful learning opportunities.  Some examples might include:

  • Gardening
  • Cooking
  • Sewing
  • Reading
  • Watching movies/ TV shows/ videos
  • Painting/ Art/ Crafting
  • Eating favorite foods
  • Socializing with friends or family
  • Board/ card games
  • Listening to music
  • Getting cuddles
  • Tickling someone
  • Hiking
  • Fixing cars
  • Puzzles
  • talking with friends

Now think about your child. What do they love?

We are trying to capture those things that spark joy in your child’s eye or a smile.  Sometimes a child’s interests are repetitive, unusual, or seen more as symptoms than interests.  That’s okay, don’t shy away from those!   By starting with those unique interests, we can expand the things they love to do over time.  Remember to think about people, places, things, and activities such as:

  • Songs/Music
  • Puzzles
  • Cuddles
  • Favorite foods
  • Slides and swings at the park
  • Climbing, swinging, spinning
  • sensory activities- playdough, sand
  • Watching interesting motions
  • Legos
  • Time with family
  • Trampoline
  • Cars
  • Candy
  • Movies/ TV shows
  • Favorite characters
  • Swimming

If you find it challenging to generate a list, reinforcement surveys and preference assessments can be helpful.

Reinforcement surveys are tools to identify the specific reinforcers or rewards that motivate and engage.

These surveys typically involve questions or prompts to determine preferred activities, objects, foods, or experiences for the person being assessed. For example, a reinforcement survey may reveal that your child is highly motivated by playing with Legos, listening to music, or spending time with family.

Some examples I like can be found here, here, and here.

On the other hand, preference assessments help preferences and interests by presenting them with a range of options and observing responses. This assessment method systematically gives choices to determine which ones elicit the strongest positive reactions.

For instance, during a preference assessment, you might observe that your child clearly prefers puzzles, watching movies or TV shows, or engaging in sensory activities like playing with playdough or sand.

By exploring these valuable resources online, you can gather inspiration and discover new possibilities for activities that align with your child's preferences and interests. These insights will guide you in creating a learning environment that genuinely captures your child's enthusiasm and sparks their joy of exploration.

Finding the Things You Both Enjoy

Now let’s look for overlap between what you and your child enjoy. You may both love music, or you may love music, and your child loves spinning…maybe these can be combined into a dance party you both love! You may need to be a bit creative here.

Now that we know the activities and things that bring you and your child joy, we're ready to begin teaching and learning. As a parent, your initial task won't be introducing new sources of reinforcement but instead building and expanding skills using your child's current interests. As you and your child engage in enjoyable activities, you'll naturally start introducing new experiences and activities, leading to more learning.

An example

Susan and Caleb, a mother and son duo, thoroughly enjoyed watching animated movies. So, they would select a movie and watch it together every week. Throughout the week, Susan and Caleb would participate in activities that incorporated the characters and themes of the movie. One day, they printed out puppets from the movie and reenacted memorable scenes. Another day, they embarked on an art project inspired by the movie's theme. They also learned the songs from the movie and created silly dances.

You might wonder what Caleb was learning through these movie-related activities.

Well, he developed joint attention skills, verbal and motor imitation skills, improved his fine motor skills, and nurtured his imaginary play and social skills. Plus, he and his mom had a fantastic time doing it!

Now it's your turn to discover your shared fun!

Please share any activities you and your kiddo enjoy in the comments below! I would love to see them, and other parents will too!  

About the Author

Michelle Ficcaglia, Ph.D., BCBA-D, is a board-certified behavior analyst in the San Francisco Bay Area.  Michelle has a Ph.D. in special education.  For more than 25 years, she has provided coaching to families nationwide to understand their child’s development and behaviors so that they can nurture critical skills.

Michelle specializes in coaching families with children ages 0-10 and has expertise in understanding the needs of families with a neurodiverse child. For more information about Michelle’s services, please visit her website, www.thoughtfulparenting.net.