After more discussion, he looked at me, arms crossed, and said:
“So you’re saying there’s no magic pill?”
He put me on my heels a bit, his wife looking at me apologetically. She and I had had hours of time to meet and talk — he was new to the mix, and I’m sure, a bit tired and frustrated with what I was suggesting.
He also seemed a bit disappointed. He really thought I might come in with a magic phrase, technique or something that'd just help things click for his son and solve their issue.
This was well into my career, and maybe only the first time a parent had been so honest about his expectations. I realized then how much the many parents I consulted over the years were also hoping — and probably praying — that my team and I would come in with that “magic pill.”
I think I broke the tension with this father with a joke, and said something like, “If I had a magic pill, I’d be rich or out of a job.”
Unfortunately, there is no magic pill to unlocking autism and the developmental needs that often come with the diagnosis.
There are, however, proven processes that can result in significant impact.
The longer I work in this field, specifically within parent-led autism therapy, I realize there are two main components to success:
You might be surprised to learn that many lessons taught within ABA (Applied Behavior Analysis) and autism therapy aren't developmentally appropriate.
Meaning, they could easily be skills that are beyond what a child is ready to learn.
This results in the lesson taking longer for a child to learn, and risks boring the child, which can then lead to behavioral issues.
I see many therapists and parents sharing lessons and how-to’s for their autistic children on Instagram and TikTok, which is awesome, but how does a parent know their child is ready for that skill?
There can often be a big difference between where we think our kids should be and where they actually are, developmentally.
These skills can also lack relevance to the child’s interests, schedule or their family’s values.
A clinician may choose a skill they feel is important for their client to learn; however, if the family doesn't see that as a valuable skill, it won't be reinforced at home.
And a skill that doesn’t get reinforced, doesn’t stick.
If we do anything enough, it'll stick. The more we do something and the better we incorporate it into our routines, the higher the likelihood we'll continue doing it.
I often compare this to fitness programs. There are so many online programs that promise quick results, magic products, short but high impact exercise routines, but at the heart of every single plan is one thing…Consistency. We have to make a decision to do something and then stick to it.
Easier said than done, right? Right!
When applying consistency to autism therapy programs, this is also true, so I make sure two things are in place:
Like, super realistic. Only set goals you’re confident you can reasonably achieve.
Taking baby steps (we also call this Shaping) can be the make or break difference between sticking with something or not. Also, making sure that it works into an existing routine can be huge.
Let’s go back to fitness.
If you make a goal to walk a mile a day, but have nobody to watch your kids, or way to deal with inclement weather, this goal will be hard.
Now say you work full-time and have an indoor gym or track in your building and a 1-hour daily lunch break. Your chances of getting that mile in M-F during your lunch hour are much better because you aren't reliant on childcare or weather.
Same with autism therapy.
And exactly why we encourage Happy Ladders parents to not do more, but to take instead the opportunities that already exist with their children throughout their day and sprinkle in functional skill development.
So there you have it, no magic pills, but two very important concepts;
Relevance. Consistency.
If you employ them both, you can’t go wrong. 😀
